Nothing means nothing

You smile at me
When we cross each other’s path
And then you don’t say more than a hello
When we are two feet apart. 

Amidst the struggles of life
We sometimes share a laugh
And then you disappear from my life
Making my whole existence, half.

You pretend to be upset with me
When I don’t call you for months
And when I do, you say you are busy
But you don’t call back, even once.

We share useless secrets
Swearing to protect them with our lives
But we don’t talk about the simplest things
On which a friendship thrives.

Some days that we spend together
Are better than my entire weeks
You and I together just feel right
We laugh and cry; even our silence speaks.

But then on some days
You don’t even want to meet
And you act like this friendship,
Or whatever this is, to you, means nothing.

I am tired of decoding your signals,
Always thinking about what your actions imply
Tired of being anxious all the time,
Constantly wondering what your inactions signify.

Between your occasional care
And unmatched apathy
Like a pendulum, I sway;
Let’s just say
Nothing means nothing;
It’s better that way.