I don’t want a forever

“I don’t want your ‘forever’. They don’t last”, she interrupted me and spoiled my ‘moment’.

We were watching a romantic movie at my place and discussing how some cliches in movies are stupid and others, not so. The protagonist or rather, the guy(cause we just had an argument about how it was wrong to call the guy a protagonist as a love story involves two people) had just proposed to the girl and promised her that he would be there beside her forever. It was a cliche that movies and movie watchers are now used to. Ending a movie with a guy and girl getting together after facing all the obstacles that love brings with it and then promising forever is a nice cliche and something that people never really get bored of.

As the movie ended and the credentials rolled up the screen, we started talking about the cliche that is ‘forever’.
‘Well, that was a nice cliche’, I said.
‘I liked it as a child but I don’t enjoy it anymore. We need to grow out of it and start being realistic. We need to get out of this ‘forever’ bullshit and start teaching our kids that the future is not necessarily always happy.’
‘Well, yeah. But I like it. It is something that everyone should aspire for. Being with someone for the entire life; the promise of eternity, that kind of love is huge and the kind of stuff people should hope to achieve.’
‘I think we need to be realistic. This kind of love is difficult to exist in today’s world. With a growing percentage of population constantly breaking up and divorcing, we need to accept that the times have changed. We need to teach our kids the basic values and let them decide what kind of future they want to have.’
‘I agree but I still like this cliche. This is how love should be. Like ours. I love you and want to be with you forever. What’s wrong with th…’ I had retorted. I agree it was not the ideal setting to propose to your girlfriend but I wasn’t proposing. I was merely stating the fact. We both knew we loved each other. We hadn’t talked about marriage but we both knew that it was on the cards. We were in a happy relationship aside from the occasional moments when we couldn’t stand each other. I thought it was a forever kind of thing. And even though it was not the ideal kind of setting to say those things, I thought it would win me the argument(or discussion, as she would have corrected me). But she interrupted me and spoiled my moment.

I wanted to say something and defend myself but I didn’t know what to say. No one knows what the future holds and a ‘forever’ is just an empty promise but I still wanted to be with her till the end of time. I started to say something but she cut me off again.

‘Don’t!’ she interjected. ‘Don’t even try to convince me that we will have a forever. I am not some 13 year old who will get convinced of it. I am not a teen and I don’t want your ‘forever’s’ she vented out in frustration.

She paused for a second and took a moment to compose herself after that staunch outburst of her emotion and calmly tried to put forth her point, ‘I don’t want you to just stay with me because you once promised or because a piece of paper says so. I don’t want us to be together because getting separated would involve heartbreak or pain or some paper work. That will be disrespectful to me. If you stay with me because of a promise or because you think I wouldn’t be able to live without you, I would not be happy with that. If you are unhappy in the relationship, I don’t want you to stay. I don’t want you to resent every moment of this relationship just because of a promise you once made. We are independent adults who have lives of our own. We will survive the hardships of life. I don’t want our relationship to feel like a prison. I want you to be with me because at every moment in life, you wanted to be with me; because even in the moments when I made your life miserable, I was worth it. I don’t want a promise of forever. I want a right now.’

 

I was a bit shocked but not at all surprised. She was a remarkable, strong, independent woman with a mind of her own. That is what I loved about her in the first place. I loved how she could think independently and not get influenced by the society and its stupid, generations-old laws. I loved how she talked about changing the future generation by giving them the knowledge and trusting them to choose their own life. And I loved how she wanted our relationship to be honest and pure. I should have known that all these cliches that society imposes upon us wouldn’t be agreeable to  her. I understood what she was saying and my respect for her multiplied. It’ s weird how after a fight or argument or ‘discussion’, you start loving the person more. (That is if your relationship survives the fight, of course.) I leaned in towards her, smiling uncontrollably, and said, ‘Fine! Lets be together right now. Because, I love you right now’ and we kissed. That kiss making me wanting to add, ‘for all the ‘right now’s of the future’ but I resisted.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “I don’t want a forever

  1. ah smart girl! I had a similar moment alone looking at locks locked on a bridge in Vienna. I can’t seem to believe in a “forever” either (perhaps because no one has ever seen forever, and more importantly forever is a long time). I believe only in a series of right nows headed towards a future of more right nows.

    I wrote about it: http://applekaurr.wordpress.com/page/5/

    • 🙂 thank you.
      Your post is nice too. Your recent cribbings about love, heartbreak, loneliness is good in a way that ita totally different experience. I mean to say that you will come out of this a better person. I think I am coming off as a sadist here but that is not what I wanted to imply. Anyway, hope good things happen to you soon. 🙂

    • “She was a remarkable, strong, independent woman with a mind of her own”

      I love the way you describe her and what you love about her. I enjoy reading what men love about their partners. She’s not only smart, but a lucky one 🙂

  2. I took this post pretty well considering I went through a recent breakup. Consider yourself a lucky man to have found a remarkable woman who believes to live in the moment and cherish it forever. Well, maybe not forever.

Whatever you feel about the blog, I would be happy to hear!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s