You will survive.

When you broke up with me, I worried about how you would do without me. We were never a stereotypical couple and our breakup wasn’t because of hate or malign or any such thing. We were just not able to make each other happy anymore. We were practical about it. We broke up. It was hard but it had to be done. I understood that. But it didn’t stop me from wondering how you would do without me. I was always your confidante. I was the one who was always there to comfort you in your lows and hug you when you thought you were falling apart. I believed you when you said you couldn’t imagine living without me six months ago cause I knew it was what you really felt. Now I wonder how much of that is still true. You may find someone else to take my place, to comfort you, to wipe away your tears but I wonder if you will be okay with them; if you will be okay without me.

But that thought lasted only for a few minutes. All it took was reminding myself that you are a survivor to make me realize that you were going to okay without me.

You are a survivor. You have always been. You survived pain, breaking of trust, sexual assault, emotional downfall, depression and even your ex cheating on you. You survived some terrible things. You did that cause you are a survivor. You survived it and you found a way, a method, a trick that you taught yourself to survive all the future calamities of heart. And those will come in handy. You survived pain and suffering and loneliness. You sure can survive without love, comfort and warmth. Bear in mind they are not the same thing. Pain is not the same as absence of joy; loneliness is not the same as absence of love. Absence of love doesn’t eat you up and depress you; it just empties you and prepares you for the next adventure. Absence of joy means you are not ecstatic right now; it doesn’t mean you are in pain. There are sad emotions, a neutral state and happy emotions. You survived some terribly sad emotions. The absence of some happy emotions that my absence will result into, won’t kill you. It would make you empty for a while and then someone will come along and acquire that space. You have survived love being snatched away from you even when you fought for it and gave it your all. So this breakup, where you willingly let love go away, wouldn’t be that hard for you to survive.

Trust me, you will survive.

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Bad name

Empty corridors
Forever waiting;

Abandoned corners
Always suffocating;

Unknown shadows
Looking for a name;

Forbidden narrows
And the constant blame.

 

A life full of suffering
And intense pain;

A past filled with longing
For a moment’s vane;

Immense hatred
Linked to it’s name;

And the utter loneliness
That comes with fame.

 

 

But perceptions and prejudices
Slowly change;

With a tinge of hope
And factors strange.

 

 

To some, empty corridors
Provide calm and peace

Abandoned corner is
Where lovers kiss.

Hidden in unknown shadows
An extrovert cries;

And in the forbidden narrows
The adventurer thrives.

 

 

So don’t stress too much
Over the connotations

Take it on the chin
And create your own implications.

 

‘Cause
Suffering and pain
Are Useful resources.

Greater the longing
Stronger the forces.

Choosing a past
Is not in our hands.

But what you decide to do with it
Decides where you stand.
So here is the crux:

Don’t let your past define you
So what if you’ve got a bad name?
You are more than what people call you
You are not something, a name can tame.

The Friendship Should Last

Is it too naive to expect
That relationships will last?
That people will stay
And not become past.
 
Is it too stupid to assume
That friends will always matter?
That whatever happens
The friendship will keep getting better.
 
Every relationship grows
Into a beautiful thing;
Until it gets ruined by expectations
And the search for meaning.
 
Every friendship vows
To last a lifetime
Until life gets in the way
And spoils all rhythm and rhyme.
 
The start of every relationship
Makes you feel immensely special
The bond is just growing strong
And everything just falls into a pattern.
 
But as the good times pass
I often fear, the worst might happen
That people will leave
And I will be left alone; forgotten.
 
Hence all I ask is for us
To stay in touch.
The friendship should last
I don’t ask for much.

सपने

सपने हम भी देखते है
बस किसी से कहते नहीं
दुनिया हम भी जितना चाहते है
बस कोशिश ज़्यादा करते नहीं

अरमान हमारे भी दिलो में है
बस ध्यान उनकी तरफ देते नहीं
पर चाहे जितना धुत्कार दे
दिलो में सिमटकर, ये सपने रहते नहीं

क्योँ कोई करेगा हमारे सपनो पे भरोसा
कोई सबूत अपनी काबिलियत का
हम कभी दे नहीं पाये
एक तुम ही थे, हमारे अस्तित्व का सहारा
एक तुम्हारी उम्मीदो का बोझ भी
हम उठा नहीं पाये

ना जाने क्योँ अब भी देखते है हम सपने
ना ही इनके पर है,
ना ही पर के नीचे हवा
ना जाने कहा बचे है वो अपने
जिन्हे अब भी हम पे यकीं है
जिन्हे है हमारे सपनो पे भरोसा

क्या होता…

सोच रहे है,
तुम और हम साथ होते
तो ज़िन्दगी का ठिकाना क्या होता.

प्यार में तुम भी, लाचार होते
तो दिल का फ़साना क्या होता.

केह देते गर हम अपने दिल कि बात,
तो जुर्माना क्या होता.

याद तो तुम्हे कर लेते
पर सोच रहे है, बहाना क्या होता.

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सोच रहे है,
तुम और हम साथ होते
तो इस चांदनी रात का नज़ारा क्या होता.

प्यार में हमारे, तुम क़ुर्बान होते
तो इस दिल कि खुशियो का किनारा क्या होता.

गर गर्दिश में न होते, हमारे नसीब के सितारे
तो जवाब तुम्हारा क्या होता.

पर जब किसी का नहीं हुआ
तो ये वक़्त हमारा क्या होता.

You can’t help them

Sometimes

No matter how hard you try

You can’t help them.

Your friend, your sibling, your child, your lover,

People you care about,

People you love;

You just can’t help them.

Sometimes

No matter how clearly you see

The pain that is heading their way

You can’t warn them

To not make that same mistake again.

Because sometimes they are just not willing to listen,

And sometimes

They just don’t want to believe you,

But most importantly

Because they want to follow their instincts

And see it through.

Sometimes, they have grown up

And you can’t tell them

What is right and what is wrong

What to do and what to not.

Not because you don’t matter

But because

It is time that they make their own decisions

and avoid the chatter.

Sometimes, no matter what trouble they are in

And no matter how much you want to help them,

All you can do is stand there and watch

And hope that you are proven wrong.

It is one of the worst feelings in the world

To watch someone you care for

Make the mistakes and suffer the pain

From which you could have prevented them.

But sometimes,

You just have to step back

You just have to let them be.

It is painful, it is torturous

To stand there and watch them suffer

But that is the punishment for caring too much,

That is what we get for loving too much.

Sometimes, you can’t do anything

And you can’t help

Even if you give it your best,

Even if you know they’ll fail that test.

All you can do

Is be there for them

When they drown in the rain

And be there for them

When they suffer the pain.

All you can do is

Let them make the mistake,

Let them go their way

Let them follow their guts

Let them find their way.

And stand at the end

Of that dark tunnel,

Waiting

To hold them

When they walk out

Waiting

To be there for them

When they come falling down.

And tell them

That shit happens

That making mistakes is okay

And that you are there for them

And it is all going to be okay

And that they will find their way

tomorrow, if not today.

Let’s share our silence

Since the past few days I have found myself in situations with people who don’t appreciate silence much. Everyone wants something or other to be said. They need some topic on which they can share their opinion and views. It is really hard for people to be in company of others and not talk or just remain silent. Even when most people are silent, in their mind they are thinking of some interesting topic to talk about. This happens more while talking to some girl. They can’t stand even two minutes of silence. On a long drive in a taxi from Lower Parel to Carter’s Road with 5 people squeezed in a taxi of 4, after spending a long and tiring evening, a friend declares to others that they all are boring as hell as they all have been silent since the past two minutes. Two minutes of silence had bored her. TWO MINUTES! I didn’t know what to say to her!

People now-a-days have really low threshold for getting bored. My 13 year old brother is bored when the he isn’t allowed to use the computer to use facebook and play farmville. Once a journey to a hill station, I was looking out of the car and admiring the scenic beauty while beside me he was cringing and twisting and constantly complaining how boring the trip was. I am not saying that he should look outside of the car and think of the big philosophical questions of life and all that stuff  but getting bored comes very easily these days. Not in front of computer, laptop, mobile – bored; on a train journey and mobile battery down – bored; sitting with a friend but out of things to talk about – bored. I don’t understand people’s need to constantly keep talking about things!

Silence is good. You don’t always have to be talking when you are with someone. It is okay to sit with someone and just be silent, to have a coffee with someone and not keep thinking about an interesting topic to talk. Even close friends are most times not comfortable with silences. The constant ‘So, what else’ is so fucking irritating while talking to someone that it puts me off and I don’t even feel like talking to that person after that. Once or twice is okay but if you keep saying ‘aur bata’ every 2 minutes, let us just not talk. People have this constant need to talk about something or the other. Its like silence is killing them in some way. They sometimes don’t even let you finish your side of the story. You are just about to add something more to the topic you have been talking about but in that 10 seconds of silence, they have already asked you what else is going on in your life and then you don’t even feel like talking about it anymore.

One of the biggest reason that people hate silence and are constantly looking for some topic to keep the conversation going is that if you can’t continuously talk to someone, then you are a bore. People these days are very quick to judge others. 5 minutes in the conversation and if there is more than 90 seconds of continuous silence, people wouldn’t like to talk to you after that. It is like every conversation they are having is supposed to be an entertaining session. It is like when they go to watch a movie in theater and if there is nothing interesting going on for five minutes, people take their mobile out of their pockets and start tweeting or Whatsapping or checking their facebook notifications. I feel so weird thinking that when I am talking to someone all they are interested in is being entertained like I am some sort of stand-up comedian.

I am comfortable with silence. I am okay with not saying anything when I am out of things to say. I can handle two-three minutes of silence. It is only when you are silent can you find another topic to talk about, right? Or do you guys make a list of ‘interesting topics to talk about’ and then choose a topic immediately after you finish talking about something. I am comfortable with silence and seriously if you are not than go ahead and start some interesting topic of conversation instead of repeatedly saying ‘what else’.

Honestly I don’t even feel comfortable around people with whom I can’t share some silence with. The sort of people who constantly need to talk don’t gel along well with me. And when you are constantly looking for things to talk about, the conversation stops being fun and starts feeling like a duty. A conversation should be easy going.

The fun in talking with people is not when you keep on looking for interesting things to talk about but when you can talk about anything. Sometimes when you are talking to someone it is so good cause there is this flow in your conversation and you don’t have to try hard to find something to talk about. That is a good conversation. I am not saying that you can have that with everyone but you should at the least have that sort of conversation with your close friends. And if at times, you don’t have anything to talk about than just stay quiet. It is okay to stay silent. After all, Silence is golden, right? Enjoy it. Savor it.

 

PS: I just had this feeling and I blogged it down without thinking much. Also, whoever is reading this article(that one friend of mine who is) please don’t take this in an offensive way cause this is not about you. This is a general opinion that I have about other people. Also, constructive criticism, PLEASE! 🙂

Bad things stick and good things are taken for granted

Like a month ago, I was showing a friend around my college campus and he was really amazed on seeing my campus. He was all like “Wow man! This is amazing! You have so many brilliant facilities and opportunities. It must be so amazing to live here and have all these facilities available for you.” The whole time he kept on saying that I was lucky and that I had it so much better. Well, my college is really good with many facilities like Lawn Tennis Courts, swimming pool, football field, cricket field, hockey field, basketball courts and well many such facilities. The campus is spread over some 500 acres. Watching him get all excited on seeing the campus, I remembered the day when I first set into the campus and saw all of this myself. I was so happy and so overwhelmed that I was going to study in such an amazing place that I kept on boasting about it to whoever would listen. No, boasting about my college is not the intention of this blog. My point is that I have this whole amazing campus in my life but I had completely forgotten about how ‘lucky’(as my friend pointed out even though I didn’t feel lucky) I actually was. I had taken this for granted. That is what we all do, don’t we? Taking things for granted?

Even though I know the lesson that one should not take things for granted and be grateful for what we have, I tend to forget it. I tend to remember the bad things that happen to me and keep on forgetting the good things that are silently going on in my life and for which I should be really glad if not thankful. The sad part is that this happens to me more than it should. When I am depressed or going through a bad phase, all I can think of is the bad things that are going on in my life. I think there is this thing where all the bad things are attracted to you if you are depressed. When depressed, I start worrying about every single thing that is going wrong in my life even the ones which are not worth it like the fact that I am not able to wake up early every morning is not a depressing thing but something that needs work and motivation but there are times when this makes me feel sadder than it should.

In our quest for something better, in our greed for more, we constantly keep on forgetting what we have and take things for granted. We forget that even though life is going bad, this is just a phase and this does not define our life or us. If we start being contended for the things that we have, we can lead a happy life though this in no way means that we should not have any desires. Desire is the fuel of life and it is important to always want something as that helps us to look forward in life. But now and then, when the pressure is just too much to handle and you are feeling down, remembering that life is good and there are things to be grateful for is really important. Taking things for granted is normal but what we need to work on is remembering that we tend to do that and work towards valuing them more.

A mind blowing start or an amazing end? #YouPrefer

As a kid I heard two quotes and got all confused. The first one was ‘Well begun, is half done’ and the second one was ‘All’s well that ends well’.  I remember thinking that if something started well, it was a good thing and if it didn’t start well, we should think that it will all be well if we could just end it in a better way.  I also remember thinking that this was just a trick played on us by our elders to ensure that we are always hopeful. Cause, isn’t it obvious that if something is going to be good than either it started good or ended good? And if it is good all the while (which is against the laws of nature) well, it is obviously good then. It was that simple for me and I thought this people just wanted to let me know that they are smarter than me hence they were putting in front of me all these wise sounding quotes.

But then I grew up and understood what was the difference between two quotes and in what way they were supposed to be interpreted. Now, I deal with bigger problems, more confusing problems.

Given a choice to choose one of the two things: A mind blowing start to your journey (or whatever it is you are undertaking) or an amazing end to it, what would you choose? I am not saying that you can’t have both, it’s just that if you can be assured of one thing, what would you want that thing to be? Would you choose a mind-blowing start and build your own way to the end or would you like to have an amazing end and not worry about how you get there?

If you choose a mind-blowing start to your journey, it may take any course in the future. You cannot possibly know what is going to happen in the future or how your journey is going to end. It may have a good ending or not. That depends. But you will have a good start. You will have an edge. As they say ‘Well begun, is half done’.

If you choose an amazing ending to your journey, you may not know what will happen to you in the start. All you can be sure is that the end will be amazing but how you reach the end, the problems you face to reach there and the things you suffer from are not known. It may be a journey to an amazing end but it may not be worth it. You may not even make it to the end, possibly because you lacked the courage to make it through. But they say ‘All’s well that ends well’.

The question is what sort of a person you are: the one to take a good start and live the end upon fate or the one to know what the end is and have the patience and the endurance to make it there by doing whatever it takes?