Hey there Delilah (Break up version)

Hey there, Delilah
What’s it like in Breakup city?
I’m just a few blocks away
So tonight don’t you feel lonely
Oh don’t you do
I know nothing can turn things around
But we’ll be good.

Hey there, Delilah
Don’t you worry about the incident
Things will eventually be alright
If you search your heart and find a reason.

So close your eyes
Try to find the reason and I’ll try to do the same
On my side.

Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
What you meant to me

Hey there, Delilah
I know times are gettin’ hard
But believe me, girl
The day things will be good isn’t far;
All will be good
We’ll have a life we know we should
It will be at least okay if not good

Hey there, Delilah
I’ve got tons of things to say
If every simple thought I had for you
Would make it all okay
I would say it all
Even more in place our pieces would fall
And we would evolve.

Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me

A happy future seems pretty far
But we’ve got hopes and dreams and scars
We’d crawl to it if we had no other way.
Our friends and all would be there for us
And we’ll survive all that comes because we know
That none of them would leave us midway.

Delilah, I CAN’T promise you
That by the time we get through
Things between us will be the same
But no one’s to blame.

Hey there, Delilah
You be good, and don’t you miss me
Few more years and you’ll be done with fools
And I’ll become history like we all do.
But I’ll always cherish the time I spent with you
And I know you will cherish it in your heart too.

Hey there, Delilah, here’s to you
To the time I spent with you.

Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
Oh, it’s what you meant to me
What you meant to me… hooo ohh…. oh ho ho oh hoo….. wooo ohhh… ohh wooahh…..

PS: Dedicated to the ex girlfriend. I don’t wish her pain or suffering. If the relationship was good, breakups are tough on both the people. So here is my wish for her in a modified version of her favourite song. Hey Delilah, I wish you a good year ahead.

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Death, the dead and our awkward silences.

“I think we forget things if we have no one to tell them to.”

I have seen Lunchbox but I had totally forgotten this piece of gem in it. I came across this recently on twitter again and it stuck me.

It’s so true! It is also one of the biggest fears that I have – that I will forget things just because I don’t talk to anyone about them.

Death and the dead.

My mother passed away 4 years ago. But I never talk about it to anyone. I don’t actually know why but I don’t like talking to people about it. We, as a society, have such a bad and depressing attitude to death that it just feels like we are doing something wrong. Whenever we hear someone lost someone close to them, our first reaction is ‘Oh, I’m sorry’ and there is no further reaction post that. We don’t like to talk about death. We don’t like to talk about the dead. No one does. We just avoid the topic. If someone among my friends ever by mistake bring up my mother or death in any conversation, they suddenly say sorry and change the conversation. I don’t understand it and still, I am a part of this. I don’t like to talk about my mother. I don’t tell about it to anyone. I haven’t told my closest friends about it. I just don’t like the sympathy and awkwardness that comes with it. I think we have a very poor and unclear way of dealing with death. We sympathise for a second and then we are afraid to ever bring it up. Why is that? Is it because the person will start crying? Or is it because you don’t want to remind them of the loss? Why do we avoid talking about the dead? What is the worst that could happen?

Some people do it right, though. I remember when I told my girlfriend about it. We were on our first date and I had no intention of bringing it up. I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to gain sympathy by saying that. (See, this is what I think is wrong with us. Why would it make me feel like ‘sympathy beggar’?) But we somehow landed on the topic. And I didn’t want to lie to her. I really liked her and I didn’t want to screw it up by being dishonest. Plus, I had a feeling she would take it right. So I told her. I told her how much I loved my mother and how much it hurt to have lost her. I told her how pathetically lost I have been since her; how she was everything to me and how loss of the most important person affects you. I remember when I started saying that to her, she held my hand throughout. When I was done telling her everything, I had tears in my eyes and I remember she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I am not saying every girl should kiss me when I tell them I have lost my mother but am I wrong to say we seriously lack compassion? What she did felt good. To tell someone your worst loss and have them understand and respond in an appropriate way, feels good.

This has been one of the worst thing to happen to me. I don’t know if anything will top this. Death and loss is difficult to deal with. And with the mentality that we have in our society, it just gets tougher and tougher. I don’t know why I hide it from everyone but I would like to stop doing that. Only if people stopped looking at me with sympathy and had a little more compassion, it would be easier. I have never blogged about this either. I have never posted about this on facebook or twitter. I don’t like to publicise that I am an orphan (with a father). I don’t like to be reminded of that. But I have this constant fear that I will forget details about her as I don’t talk to anyone about her. I don’t want to do that.

So here I am, talking about my mother who I lost a little over 4 years ago. I loved her. She taught me everything – from being patient, understanding, compassionate, loving to being smart, passionate and human. ‘Never shout at your brother and sister when they do something wrong,’ she used to tell me. ‘The whole world will criticize and blame them when they make a mistake. This is the time when they need you the most.’ I have tried to live up to it. ‘Always put family first. They matter the most no matter what they are and how they behave, family is all we have got.’ I remember this and try to live by it in life’s most mundane activities like making sure that my uncle(who is divorced and a loner) is not being left alone when we go to attend weddings because she used to make sure of that. I try to do things that she did and live by her principles and lessons.

I see my sister taking care of the family and I think of my mother. I think of how proud she would be of her. The way my sister takes care of everyone, talks to everyone in the family, makes them understand each others point, tries to sort out the fights that we all keep having – I think of how my mother should have been alive to see her grow into a woman. My mother worried so much about her, I wish she could see how much of her is left behind in my sister.

I see my little brother taking care of my granny and I think of my mother. I think of how happy she would have been to see him be so responsible and grown up even though he is just 15. I think of how much she is missing. I see my brother respecting other girls in his class; I see him do good in school; when his school teachers tell me he can do better in study, it doesn’t bother me but I am the proudest person when they tell me he is the most sincere, respectful and decent student in the class. I take pride in the fact that my mother’s values are not lost. She is the one who inculcated all the habits in him. She is the one who taught him compassion, love, empathy, respect and standing up for those who can’t do it for themselves. And she would have been so proud to see him grow into those and much more.

I miss how my mother will never be able to see how she moulded our lives. I sometimes feel sorry that she will never know how much we loved her. I miss that I will never be able to tell her that again. I miss that I will never be able to hug her and feel safe and comfort again. I miss that no one will ever believe in me and understand and love me the way she did.

People die, alright. But we don’t have to forget them. We don’t have to not talk about them. We don’t have to be afraid to shed a few tears in their memory. I wish we were not so awkward about death and the dead. I am now ashamed that I have never spoken about her to many people. And I fear I will forget her. I don’t want to forget her. I want to remember all I can about her. And the best way to remember is to keep talking, right?

I love my mother. And I miss her.

Bad name

Empty corridors
Forever waiting;

Abandoned corners
Always suffocating;

Unknown shadows
Looking for a name;

Forbidden narrows
And the constant blame.

 

A life full of suffering
And intense pain;

A past filled with longing
For a moment’s vane;

Immense hatred
Linked to it’s name;

And the utter loneliness
That comes with fame.

 

 

But perceptions and prejudices
Slowly change;

With a tinge of hope
And factors strange.

 

 

To some, empty corridors
Provide calm and peace

Abandoned corner is
Where lovers kiss.

Hidden in unknown shadows
An extrovert cries;

And in the forbidden narrows
The adventurer thrives.

 

 

So don’t stress too much
Over the connotations

Take it on the chin
And create your own implications.

 

‘Cause
Suffering and pain
Are Useful resources.

Greater the longing
Stronger the forces.

Choosing a past
Is not in our hands.

But what you decide to do with it
Decides where you stand.
So here is the crux:

Don’t let your past define you
So what if you’ve got a bad name?
You are more than what people call you
You are not something, a name can tame.

बस कभी कह नही पाये

प्यार तो हमारी भी आँखों से झलक रहा था, पर नज़रें वो उनसे मिला रहे थे

दिल तो हमारा भी उन्ही के लिए धड़क रहा था, पर वो उनके सीने से लगके जिए जा रहे थे |

दर्द, मोहब्बत का, हमे भी हो रहा था, पर मलम वो उनके ज़ख्मो पे लगा रहे थे

ग़म जुदाई का हमारे सीने से भी उभर रहा था, पर वो उन्ही के इंतज़ार में दिए लगा रहे थे |

 

प्यार सिर्फ उसी को नहीं होता, जो आसानी से दिल की दास्ताँ बयान कर जाता है

दर्द सिर्फ उसी के दिल में नही होता, जो पलक झपक के सारे आसू रो जाता है |

दिल तो हमने भी तुम्ही से लगाया था, बस कभी कह नहीं पाए

प्यार तो हमने भी सिर्फ तुम्ही से किया था, बस कभी कोई सबूत नहीं दे पाए |

 

पर शायद उसी का जितना सही है,

उसी के साथ तुम्हारी प्यार की कहानी भली है |

हम से दिल लगा के शायद तुम पछताती,

कैसे तुम्हे हम खुश रख पाते, जब दिल की बात ही तुम्हे बतानी नहीं आती |

You can’t help them

Sometimes

No matter how hard you try

You can’t help them.

Your friend, your sibling, your child, your lover,

People you care about,

People you love;

You just can’t help them.

Sometimes

No matter how clearly you see

The pain that is heading their way

You can’t warn them

To not make that same mistake again.

Because sometimes they are just not willing to listen,

And sometimes

They just don’t want to believe you,

But most importantly

Because they want to follow their instincts

And see it through.

Sometimes, they have grown up

And you can’t tell them

What is right and what is wrong

What to do and what to not.

Not because you don’t matter

But because

It is time that they make their own decisions

and avoid the chatter.

Sometimes, no matter what trouble they are in

And no matter how much you want to help them,

All you can do is stand there and watch

And hope that you are proven wrong.

It is one of the worst feelings in the world

To watch someone you care for

Make the mistakes and suffer the pain

From which you could have prevented them.

But sometimes,

You just have to step back

You just have to let them be.

It is painful, it is torturous

To stand there and watch them suffer

But that is the punishment for caring too much,

That is what we get for loving too much.

Sometimes, you can’t do anything

And you can’t help

Even if you give it your best,

Even if you know they’ll fail that test.

All you can do

Is be there for them

When they drown in the rain

And be there for them

When they suffer the pain.

All you can do is

Let them make the mistake,

Let them go their way

Let them follow their guts

Let them find their way.

And stand at the end

Of that dark tunnel,

Waiting

To hold them

When they walk out

Waiting

To be there for them

When they come falling down.

And tell them

That shit happens

That making mistakes is okay

And that you are there for them

And it is all going to be okay

And that they will find their way

tomorrow, if not today.

ज़िन्दगी – एक उलझन

कभी एक पल में ही
खुशियों की बौछार हो जाती है;
कभी दूर दूर तक 
मुस्कुराने की वजह नज़र नहीं आती है.


कभी जिसको देख के

चेहरा ख़ुशी से झूम उठता है;
कभी उसी को देख के
दिल नफरत के कुए से पानी भरता है.


कभी छोटी सी गलती की सजा

मरते दम तक भुगत ते रहते है;
कभी बड़ी बड़ी गलतियों को भी
जाने अनजाने में अनदेखा कर देते है.


छोटी छोटी जीतो में छुपी हुई

वो बड़ी हार दिखाई नहीं देती;
भूले बिसरे गीतों में खोयी हुई
वो अनकही दास्ताँ सुनाई नहीं देती.


छोटी छोटी मुश्किलों में

ज़िन्दगी के बड़े सवाल कही खो जाते है;
बनते बिगड़ते रिश्तो में
जज़बातो के मायने कही ग़ुम हो जाते है.


कभी छोटी छोटी खुशियों में

ज़िन्दगी के सारे ग़म भूल जाते है;
और कभी हलके फुल्के संवादों में
सारी समस्याओं के हल निकल आते है.


सही गलत करते करते

ज़िन्दगी यूँ ही हाथ से फिसल जाती है;
और मौत करीब आते आते
सही गलत की परिभाषा ही बदल जाती है.


हस्ते रोते, गिरते संभलते

ये यूँ ही हमेशा
आगे बढ़ती जाती है;
ये ज़िन्दगी भी अजीब उलझन है
न कभी सुलझती है
न कभी समझ आती है.

Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu! My say on the movie!

First of all, I am never going to believe this stupid newspapers or idiotic online rating of movies! What shit! Who gives 4 stars to such a movie? Or for that matter even 3 stars? The movie was a total disaster, a complete disappointment! The end was decent for the only reason that it didn’t have the same old bollywood ending! The humor was not just plain but it was pathetic except couple of punches!

The biggest problem with the film is that nothing seems logical and nothing is justified! And by nothing I mean NOTHING! Rahul Illogical movie(Imran Khan) has been sacked from his job which is very obvious considering that he has no interest in architecture and he has no self confidence. He feels like consulting a psychologist. Riana (Kareena Kapoor) is going through a break up (her 6th or 7th break up) and she is depressed which she doesn’t seem to be. She goes to psychologist for consulting which she doesn’t need. I think the psychologist scene was just to give us an introduction of both the characters and we have seen this in so many hollywood movies. Then there is the ‘loosen up; you are such an tight-ass’ comment by Kareena which motivates Imran to prove that he is not and so he gets drunk on vodka shots. I am like seriously? Is this all it takes, a stupid comment? What rubbish! Also, I don’t like that after getting high there is a song to show the fun they had. There should have been more talking in the film and more conversing. This songs prevents them from building a chemistry which is missing in the whole movie. Also, in the starting scenes Kareena reminds me of Jab We Met‘s Geet, a very bad copy of Geet to be precise. She tries to know more about him and also tries to get him a girl by convincing him to call his ex which he does. The only humor in the movie is when Rahul is on a date with his ex and she asks ‘How wild are you?’ to which his reply is ‘Ab sher se kya poochna ki kaha kaha shikaar kiya hai!’. Although Rahul, as his character is, doesn’t seem capable of pulling off such a nice dialogue but the joke stays. But obviously Rahul is an idiot and he screws up the date.  Then Rahul and Riana go out and have fun on another song which makes him like her more, don’t ask how this happened. Then he listens to the ‘koi mil gaya’ song on Riana’s ipod and falls down and suddenly realizes ‘Shit! I love her!’ Oh My God! What piece of ass is this Rahul? Where did the love come from? Was it when he saw her sleeping in bed and he covered her with a blanket? (This scene again irritates me to the core).  They haven’t even talked properly and he is in love with her? How is this possible? So so illogical. The director might have thought having an interval at this point to be a smart move as it will make people curious about the other half of the movie but in it obviously doesn’t. It in fact makes me wanna leave. Dude, he can’t be in love with her. He just can’t.

The scenes in the movie have been copied from so many  different movie that they now irritate the audience. The scene of  ‘Thoda right, thoda left, thoda aur dabao!’ is hell irritating. Then there is late night talk which is boring and which convinces Rahul to go to the India with Riana. For most of the time in the movie, nothing significant is actually happening and you just keep on waiting for some twist or some surprise but there isn’t any. The ‘Auntyji’ song is one of the better songs in the album and watching Avantika and Imran was sort of cute but nothing again is actually happening in the movie! Then they go to watch Riana’s school where Riana fools Rahul into believing that he is PERFECTLY average and that it is a good thing. She says this in a way that would not even convince the dumbest guy on the planet. Seriously, how stupid can it get! No Riana, being average is not good and you shouldn’t make that idiotic Rahul believe in it. I’m not saying that being average is bad or something but its not something to be proud of. Then she takes him to the kissing spot of school and says ‘I had my first kiss here’ which makes Rahul fall in love with her more and he leans forward saying ‘Thank you ri, meri life badalne ke liye!’ Obviously she didn’t kiss him not because her real life boyfriend Saif doesn’t allow her but because she is not in love with her. My question here is how has Riana changed Rahul’s life? How? He still is jobless, he has the same old shit life that he had earlier with the same irritating parents. The only difference is that now he is in India with a friend he has recently made. His life is not changed! Stupid stupid stupid script! And then they fight! FIGHT? For what? Why is Rahul over-reacting? If a girl takes you to a kissing spot it doesn’t mean that she wants to kiss you, stupid Rahul. He took the wrong hints, big deal! Stop crying! There is nothing to fight about. Even the fight is not justifiable. Such illogical movie. And of-course there is a sad song in the movie now.  Even this song is kind of nice but again the movie has no high point.

The end is near and this movie is going nowhere. There is nothing that the director could have done to the end that could make everything worth it. The movie has gone down. But the end sort of has a small high point and I expect the story to build up on it but sadly and not surprisingly it doesn’t.  The scene where Rahul shouts at his parents and everybody else at the dining table could have been so much better. But the anger that he has inside him cools down very easily, it seems. The scene should have been a bit long and more outraging, I think. For reasons I don’t understand he goes to Riana and realizes that he was wrong. Where did the realization come from I have no clue! He confesses to Riana that he loves  her and that it’s not easy to fall out of it. Riana on the other hand wants Rahul to be the break-up guy who will be there for him whenever she wants him to be, as a friend of-course. The monologue of Rahul at the end is disappointing and saddens me that they couldn’t even get the end perfectly right! Sad! Rahul still hopes he may be able to convince Riana to marry him. You idiot Rahul, you really don’t understand, do you? You yourself are not in love with the girl in the first place, it is just infatuation.

The movie has got no high points, nothing special that will stick with you. The music is decent. The direction is pathetic. It feels like the director just thought that there should be a movie with a different ending and then built a story according to that. Nothing in the movie fits. Imran is decent. Kareena is bad. There are no dialogues in the movie. It seems like a movie which is copied from various other movies with only on difference-the end.

Swapnil Patel.