ये प्यार ही होगा…

ये प्यार ही होगा
वरना, किसी का इतना इंतज़ार
हम नही करते

ये इश्क़ ही होगा
वरना ऐसी बेवकूफों वाली हरकत
हम नही पटकते |

love in madly

वो तो तुम्हे देख के
हम होश खो बैठते है
और तुम्हारी मुस्कराहट को देख के
दीवाने हो उठते है |

वैसे समझ तो हम में
ज़माने भर की है
और अकड़ तो हम में
ज़रूरत से ज़्यादा भरी है

पर तुम्हे देख के
सारी अकड़ भूल जाती है
और तुमपे रौब जमाने के चक्कर में
सारी समझ निकल आती है |

ये प्यार ही होगा
वरना तुम हमारे दिलो दिम्माग पे
यु छाए ना होते

ये इश्क़ ही होगा
वरना तुम्हारे नाम के इस दिल में
अफ़साने ना होते

ये प्यार ही होगा
या फिर शायद हम पागल हो रहे है |
पर सुना है,
पागल होने को ही लोग आजकल
प्यार कह रहे है |

Nothing means nothing

You smile at me
When we cross each other’s path
And then you don’t say more than a hello
When we are two feet apart. 
walking-away
Amidst the struggles of life
We sometimes share a laugh
And then you disappear from my life
Making my whole existence, half.

You pretend to be upset with me
When I don’t call you for months
And when I do, you say you are busy
But you don’t call back, even once.

We share useless secrets
Swearing to protect them with our lives
But we don’t talk about the simplest things
On which a friendship thrives.

Some days that we spend together
Are better than my entire weeks
You and I together just feel right
We laugh and cry; even our silence speaks.

But then on some days
You don’t even want to meet
And you act like this friendship,
Or whatever this is, to you, means nothing.

I am tired of decoding your signals,
Always thinking about what your actions imply
Tired of being anxious all the time,
Constantly wondering what your inactions signify.

Between your occasional care
And unmatched apathy
Like a pendulum, I sway;
Let’s just say
Nothing means nothing;
It’s better that way.

Likeapendulum

This is enough… enough for now!

Walking down the road, I see you across the street
Looking all pretty and happy and smiling with glee

You look at me and we share this glance
Then you raise your eyebrows, smile at me and move on

And I just stand there like a fool, thinking
About that smile and you and us and about this feeling

And all I want to do is come up to you and say
How I feel about you and ask, if you feel the same.

But I don’t.
Cause this smile is enough… enough for now!

She is just sitting on her computer, studying for her exam
Getting all worried and upset but still trying to stay calm

Her mobile beeps and it is a text from him
He asks about her day and how she has been

And she is smiling and smiling and she doesn’t know why
Because she hates him for not doing this often and for being so shy

Because she would love nothing more than for him to call
Ask about her day; listen to her problems and well, that’s all.

But he never does and she still smiles
Cause this message is enough… enough for now!

He is dancing with her, having one of the best nights of his life
Celebrating a friend’s birthday, partying and drinking wine

She is drunk and happy and suddenly she starts feeling a little blue
So she leans on his shoulder and hugs him and he has got no clue

He is sitting there, his heart beating faster and it is back
The love he had for her; the love that he still has

And he knows she doesn’t love him and that they promised to stay friends
But he can’t stop thinking about her; can’t get her out of his head.

So he makes do with this hug
Cause this hug is enough… enough for now!

She is sitting in her cubicle, tired and frustrated
Hating everything about today; annoyed and irritated

He walks in with two cups of tea and his stupid grin
Cracks some jokes and tells stupid stories, which makes her forget everything

Then he gets up, kisses her on her forehead and leaves
Taking with him all her problems and all her worries

And she hates him for always being a friend and not making a move
When she is so apparently smitten by him and so obviously in love

But for now she settles for the kiss on her forehead
Cause this kiss is enough… enough for now!

They just came back from dinner and are standing in front of her door
Exchanging their final goodbyes for the night but secretly wishing for more

The dinner was amazing and the night was wonderfully spent
With the right amount of laughter and right amount of sentiment

And they are just standing there unsure about what to do next
Risk the kiss on lips or just hug and let go of the rest

Then he moves forward, hugs her and kisses her gently on her cheek
Wishes her a good night, asks her to sleep well and leaves.

And even though they both wanted more than this, they smile
Cause this peck is enough… enough for now!

They are sitting next to each other, under the starry sky
Staring at the endless sea and watching the waves rise high

They are talking about love and life; of how fast the time flies
Reliving memories and sharing old stories; of a love that never dies

And he loves her like he has never loved anyone before
And he knows she loves him too; loves him to the core

But they don’t say it because saying it will only make it worse
As they can’t give each other forever and that is their curse.

So they just sit there and relish their love
Cause this love is enough… enough for now!

It’s not love… It’s just a crush

When I tell people what I feel about a new crush of mine most of them go like ‘aww you are in love!’ Is love just that? Liking someone, feeling good when she texts you or wanting to be with her… is this love? Bullshit! This is just a crush. Either these people don’t know what love is or maybe I have explained my feelings to them in a misleading way. Sometimes I feel may be its not their fault because that is what the media and movies today tell us about love. You like someone, you love the way your heart flutters when you meet her, you feel you are the most funniest person on the earth when she laughs at your one liners, and you just wish you were special for her… this is not love, is it?

You cannot be in love with someone you don’t know very well or just had chatted with often or only met a couple of times. Love is way deeper than that. You cannot be in love with someone you like and wish to spend time with. Love has more to it than just liking someone. You cannot be in love with someone unless and until you have spent enough time together or shared happy and fun moments together or the sad and troubling moments for that matter. You cannot be in love unless you have been through the ups and downs of life together. You cannot be in love unless you have faced troubles in your relationship, had serious fights and thought it was over but still you fought for the relationship just because you wanted to! The young generation has so wrongly interpreted the meaning of love that they fail to truly understand it and appreciate it!

Love is a result of time spent together. It doesn’t happen overnight. This doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in love at first sight because I do; but that is a different thing. Love at first sight is an instinctive thing where you look at someone and something inside you says that, given the opportunity, you would date her and if she is willing, you could make the relationship work. Love at first sight is like Déjà vu to me, I can’t explain it but I can’t deny that it might happen.

Talking about my present crush well I don’t think it is love because I don’t know her too well. Yes, I like her and I think she is really pretty and sweet but I don’t love her. One of the most basic reason why I like her so much is that I think [yep I THINK] she likes me too! The way she talks with me and she behaves around me made me think so. May be this is all in my head. The thing is that I would like to take this feeling ahead one step at a time. Presently,  I would like to know her better, become a good friend of her, become very good friends with her then may be date her and be in a relationship with her and see how it goes but the problem is that I don’t want to promise anything. [A voice in my head is laughing and says ‘kuch nahi hone wala… sapne mat dekh :P’ but let us ignore that]. The thing is I would be totally okay even if we are good friends and that I think we will be!

But yeah, I will be making an effort towards being good friends and taking a step ahead if I feel like it. When I explain how I feel about her to my friends they think this is love. This is not love, is it? It is just a crush, JUST ANOTHER CRUSH, isn’t it?

PS: It is going to be really awkward when she reads this :/ Why the hell am I posting this in the first place?