बदलती ज़िन्दगी

Rains

Rains

ये बारिश की बूँदें
गीली मिट्टी की खुशबू
पल पल तड़पती, बेचैन
मेरे तन्हा दिल की आरज़ू

बचपन की यादें
पहले बारिश की भिगन
माँ के हाथ के पकौड़े
रेडियो पे पुराने गानो का चलन

बेझिझक बारिश में नाचता,
मेरा मासूम बचपन
बेपरवाह खेलता, गाता
मेरे दोस्तों का संघटन

आज भी भीगने का मन करता है
पर वक़्त की कमी का बहाना होता है
जानते है मन की ख़ुशी सबसे बड़ी होती है
पर ख़ुशी से कीमती, हाथ की घडी होती है

जेब में कुछ पैसे है
बस्ते में कुछ चीज़ें है
मन में डर बीमारी का है
कंधो पे बोझ ज़िम्मेदारी का है

गीली मिट्टी की खुशबू अब भी हमको भाति है
पर कमरे से ही अब, ये बारिश सुहाती है
बचपन के बेफिक्र दिनों की कमी खलती है
पर शायद इसी तरह से, ये ज़िन्दगी बदलती है.

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Love is simple.

Love isn’t complicated. Love is simple. I think (well, who am I to say anything about love but anyway) love is one of the most simplest thing in the world. Ok! May be not but it is a lot simpler than what everyone has portrayed it to be. Love is simple. It is we who complicate it. The idea of romantic love and the picture portrayed by it is what makes love complicated.

I once asked Shahrukh Khan to define love(in one of his ‘I’ll answer some of your questions now’ phases on twitter) and he replied with this: (Love is) fearlessly unconditional fondness beyond physicality.

love by srkThat is how the king of romance defines love. Simple, isn’t it?

I remember when love used to be simpler than it is today. As a child, love meant liking someone intensely. Yes, that is what love is to us when we are children(or may be it was just stupid me who thought of it in such simple ways) and well I can’t seem to be able to find anything wrong with that. That, in a nutshell, says everything about love. Earlier, people didn’t expect much from their lovers. It didn’t take much to fall in love then. If someone likes you, cares for your well being and wants the best things for you (happiness and all things good) that meant they loved you. Simple! May be that is why people didn’t make a big deal about love then and were happy with what they had and may be that is why lesser people broke up/got divorced.

But not today. Today, love is the most complicated things. Thanks to the movies, books, media and all the shitty television soaps out there people have a really weird opinion of love and a huge list of expectations from their ‘ideal lover’.  He should be handsome, intelligent, should have a sense of humor, a hot body, should be in a rock band(probably a guitarist), should be filthy rich, should be honest, decent, caring, respectful and loyal and also… should be something different, you know? Yeah right! What different do you want now? Wasn’t that exhaustive list enough? For guys it doesn’t get any simpler. She should be pretty, sweet, cute, hot, sexy, should have a sense of fashion, should be intelligent, smart, should be a social person but not very, should get along with his friends, should be able to cook and take care of the house, should have those maternal instincts and should be able to take care of him and his family and shouldn’t make him spend lot of money and also, you know, she should be someone you can take home to your mom. Just die already, why don’t you? So many expectations, so many images of the ideal one, so many things people look forward to in their ideal lover that it is logically and statistically impossible to find someone who will live up to their crazy and unrealistic standards.

A while ago, I came about this question on Quora ‘Can you love someone who doesn’t like Quora?’ and although a lot of people on Quora are sensible and replied with ‘it doesn’t matter’ I still couldn’t stop thinking about how people just keep adding things on their checklist of ideal lover without a second thought. I mean how does it really matter if some one likes Quora or not?
People have weird notions about love. They want their lovers to have the same interests as them. For example they can’t be in love with someone who doesn’t like music or reading books or watching movies and other similar things. And just having similar interests isn’t good enough. People want their lover to even like the same sub-sets or genres in those fields of interests. How can I be in love with someone who doesn’t like rock music or doesn’t watch Game of Thrones or doesn’t like to watch rom-com movies? Why is it so important that your lover has to like all the things that you enjoy? And how boring will it become after a while? The shittiest and stupidest things that one hears go something like ‘broke up because he never liked her facebook profile pic’ or ‘not together anymore because she partied a lot’.

love-is-simple-people-are-complicated-1

One other factor that has changed is that people earlier used to have lots of friends and so the expectations from a lover was less. Now, people expect everything that they should ideally expect from a friend, from their lover. If your lover doesn’t enjoy music festival, go with your friend. If your lover doesn’t enjoy watching Sex and the City or X-Men or whatever movie you want to watch, go watch it with your friend. Make more friends. You don’t have to do everything with your lover. Go out with friends. Your lover only needs to be a few things. They need to love you, be there for you during tough times, be there to celebrate your happy moments with you and stand by you no matter what. They don’t have to be a guitar player or a great cook to be your lover cause these things don’t affect your relationship in anyway except that you get to boast about it to your fake facebook friends.

Love is simple. Love has to be simple. As panda(one of my giant friend who loves food as much as Po, may be more) says ‘ Love is simple. If she can order a subway sandwich perfectly – with the right sauces and all- I’ll marry her.’ Ok! May be that is a little too much to expect from someone but you get the jest. Expect simple things from your lover – commitment, loyalty, freedom, personal space, support, care and love; don’t go into details. Love is the basic ingredient you need to make a good life. Everything else can be derived, learned and inculcated later on.

कोशिश करो: दो कवी के बीच का वार्तालाप

दो कवी मिले एक दफा,

सुनाने लगे एक दुसरे को अपने ज़िदगी की कथा.

बातों ही बातों में अपना दर्द बाटने लगे,

ज़िन्दगी की इस पहेली को सुलझाने लगे.

 

पेहले कवी ने कहा,

‘हर किसी की एक अलग कहानी है,

हर कोई अपनी अलग ही जंग लड़ रहा है.

हर किसी की अपनी एक अलग मजबूरी है

हर कोई ज़िन्दगी से जूझ रहा है; झगड़ रहा है.

 

आराम की ज़िन्दगी कोई नहीं जी रहा

सुकून यहाँ किसी के पास नहीं,

मुश्किलें हर एक की राहों में है बीछी हुई,

कोई लड़ते लड़ते मर रहा है, और कोई है, जिसमे लड़ने की हिम्मत अब बची नहीं.’

 

उसके मन के क्लेश को समझते हुए दुसरे कवी ने कहा,

‘ख़ुशी के पहले हमेशा,

दुःख का एक पढ़ाव आता है,

तभी तो ख़ुशी इतनी मीठी लगती है,

और पढ़ाव के आगे निकलने को जी चाहता है.

 

सफलता के रास्ते सीधे नहीं है मेरे दोस्त,

तकलीफें सबको उठानी पडती है,

शोहरतों की डाली नीचे नहीं आती,

छलांग हमें ही लगानी पड़ती है.’

 

ये सुन पेहला कवी निराश हुआ

और अपने मन के विचारों में और उलझ गया

‘माना की मुश्किलें हर एक के रास्तों में होती है,

पर ज़िन्दगी का कडवा सच ये भी है,

की जो इन मुश्किलों को पार कर जाता है,

वो विजेता कहलाता है

और जो इन मुश्किलों में उलझ कर रह जाता है,

उसे ये ज़माना भूल जाता है.

 

हर एक इंसान इस दल दल से बाहर नहीं निकलता

जो निकल जाता है, बस उसे ये ज़माना याद रखता है.

पर जो इस दल दल में डूब कर मर जाता है,

उसकी परवाह, मुझे बताओ, भला कौन करता है?’

 

अपने दोस्त का हौसला टूटते हुए देख दूसरा कवी हताश हुआ,

और अपने दोस्त के मन का मतभेद दूर करने हेतु कहा,

‘माना की हर किसी को अपनी जंग मिली है,

माना की हर किसी की राहों में मुश्किलें बीछी है,

पर ज़िन्दगी का मकसद जीतना नहीं है मेरे दोस्त,

ज़िन्दगी का मकसद तो है लड़ना.

 

क्यूंकि हारा वो नहीं है जो दल दल में डूब गया है,

हारा तो वो है, जो अपने रास्ते पे चलने से डर रहा है.

और मौत किसी सफ़र के अंत में नहीं आती है,

बल्कि सफ़र का अंत तब हो जाता है, जब मुश्किलों से लड़ने की हिम्मत चली जाती है.’

 

ये सुन पेहला कवी बौखलाया,

‘तो तुम चाहते हो की मै हारने के लिए लडू?’

तो दूसरा कवी मुस्कुराया,

‘नहीं मेरे दोस्त, मै चाहता हूँ की तुम जीतने की पूरी कोशिश करो.’

 

झिझकते हुए पेहले कवी ने पूछा,

‘और फिर भी हार गया तो?’

तब दुसरे कवी ने मुस्कुराते हुए कहा,

‘तो मेरे दोस्त, दुबारा कोशिश करो.’

ज़िन्दगी – एक उलझन

कभी एक पल में ही
खुशियों की बौछार हो जाती है;
कभी दूर दूर तक 
मुस्कुराने की वजह नज़र नहीं आती है.


कभी जिसको देख के

चेहरा ख़ुशी से झूम उठता है;
कभी उसी को देख के
दिल नफरत के कुए से पानी भरता है.


कभी छोटी सी गलती की सजा

मरते दम तक भुगत ते रहते है;
कभी बड़ी बड़ी गलतियों को भी
जाने अनजाने में अनदेखा कर देते है.


छोटी छोटी जीतो में छुपी हुई

वो बड़ी हार दिखाई नहीं देती;
भूले बिसरे गीतों में खोयी हुई
वो अनकही दास्ताँ सुनाई नहीं देती.


छोटी छोटी मुश्किलों में

ज़िन्दगी के बड़े सवाल कही खो जाते है;
बनते बिगड़ते रिश्तो में
जज़बातो के मायने कही ग़ुम हो जाते है.


कभी छोटी छोटी खुशियों में

ज़िन्दगी के सारे ग़म भूल जाते है;
और कभी हलके फुल्के संवादों में
सारी समस्याओं के हल निकल आते है.


सही गलत करते करते

ज़िन्दगी यूँ ही हाथ से फिसल जाती है;
और मौत करीब आते आते
सही गलत की परिभाषा ही बदल जाती है.


हस्ते रोते, गिरते संभलते

ये यूँ ही हमेशा
आगे बढ़ती जाती है;
ये ज़िन्दगी भी अजीब उलझन है
न कभी सुलझती है
न कभी समझ आती है.

Zindagi – Ek Uljhan

Kabhi ek pal me hi
khushiyo ki bauchaar ho jaati hai,
Kabhi dur dur tak
muskuraane ki wajah nazar nahi aati hai.

Kabhi jisko dekh ke

chehra khushi se jhoom uthta hai,
Kabhi usi ko dekh ke
dil nafrat k kuwe se paani bharta hai.

Kabhi choti si galti ki saza

zindagi bhar tak bhugat te rehte hai,
Kabhi badi badi galtiyo ko bhi
jaane anjaane me andekha kar dete hai.
 
Choti choti jeeto me chupi hui
wo badi haar dikhaayi nahi deti,
Bhule beesre geeto me khoyi hui
wo ankahi daastan sunaayi nahi deti.
 
Choti choti mushkilo me
zindagi k bade sawal, kahi kho jaate hai,
Bante bigadte rishto me
jazbaato k maayne, kahi ghum ho jate hai.
 
Kabhi choti choti khushiyo me
zindagi k saare gham bhul jaate hai,
Aur kabhi halke fulke samvado me
saari samasyao k hal nikal aate hai.
 
Sahi galat karte karte
zindagi yun hi haath se phisal jaati hai,
Aur maut karib aate aate
sahi galat ki paribhasha hi badal jaati hai.
 
Haste-rote, girte-sambhalte
ye yun hi humesha
aage badhti jaati hai,
Ye zindagi aisi uljhan hai
na kabhi sulajhti hai
na kabhi samajh aati hai.

Loneliness

No one just listens these days
When you tell them about the problems in your life
They all have opinions and suggestions
They have things to say and your habits to criticize

No one just sits there and understands
When you are going through tough times
They all say ‘it was your own mistake’
Like this is supposed to be some punishment for our crimes

No one just says ‘it’s ok’
When you sometimes fail in life
They all give you advice and tips
They all say ‘you should try harder the next time’

No one says ‘it will all get better’
When nothing seems to be going right
When nothing is giving you the motivation to breathe
When the end of the tunnel doesn’t look bright

No one ever says ‘I will be with you forever
No matter what you do in life
No matter what happens to you
Even if you are about to die’

No one, it seems, is going to be there forever
We ourselves are the fools, hoping to survive
The loneliness that is evidently going to catch up with us
The loneliness that we all so desperately try to avoid

Aakhri Alvida

Chale jaa rahe ho humse door,
ek baar mud kar dekh to liya hota.
Khade hai hum yaha, pyaar me majboor,
humari majboori ko zara samajh to liya hota.
 
Ye gham thoda kam ho jaata,
ye rasta thoda aasan ho jaata.
Pyaar me itna dard na hota,
iss majboori ka itna afsos na hota.

Na jeete har pal apne aap se ruth ke,
na marte baar baar apne naseeb ko kos ke;
Jo tumne humpe thoda reham kiya hota,
ek baar jo tumne mud kar dekh liya hota.

Galati shayad  meri hi thi,
kaash maine itni mohabbat ki na hoti.
Khush hoti aaj ye zindagi,
jo aisi beparvaah dillagi ki na hoti.

Par afsos us mohabbat ka nahi,
gham tujhse ki dillagi ka nahi.
Jo bitaya tha waqt wo haseen tha,
ye dil bhi bada khushnaseeb tha.

Dard to uss aakhri bevafai ka hai,
pachtava to teri rusvaai ka hai,
Maante hai ki humse nafrat karne ke kaaran hazaar the
Par hum kam se kam ek aakhri alvida ke to haqdaar the.

Bad things stick and good things are taken for granted

Like a month ago, I was showing a friend around my college campus and he was really amazed on seeing my campus. He was all like “Wow man! This is amazing! You have so many brilliant facilities and opportunities. It must be so amazing to live here and have all these facilities available for you.” The whole time he kept on saying that I was lucky and that I had it so much better. Well, my college is really good with many facilities like Lawn Tennis Courts, swimming pool, football field, cricket field, hockey field, basketball courts and well many such facilities. The campus is spread over some 500 acres. Watching him get all excited on seeing the campus, I remembered the day when I first set into the campus and saw all of this myself. I was so happy and so overwhelmed that I was going to study in such an amazing place that I kept on boasting about it to whoever would listen. No, boasting about my college is not the intention of this blog. My point is that I have this whole amazing campus in my life but I had completely forgotten about how ‘lucky’(as my friend pointed out even though I didn’t feel lucky) I actually was. I had taken this for granted. That is what we all do, don’t we? Taking things for granted?

Even though I know the lesson that one should not take things for granted and be grateful for what we have, I tend to forget it. I tend to remember the bad things that happen to me and keep on forgetting the good things that are silently going on in my life and for which I should be really glad if not thankful. The sad part is that this happens to me more than it should. When I am depressed or going through a bad phase, all I can think of is the bad things that are going on in my life. I think there is this thing where all the bad things are attracted to you if you are depressed. When depressed, I start worrying about every single thing that is going wrong in my life even the ones which are not worth it like the fact that I am not able to wake up early every morning is not a depressing thing but something that needs work and motivation but there are times when this makes me feel sadder than it should.

In our quest for something better, in our greed for more, we constantly keep on forgetting what we have and take things for granted. We forget that even though life is going bad, this is just a phase and this does not define our life or us. If we start being contended for the things that we have, we can lead a happy life though this in no way means that we should not have any desires. Desire is the fuel of life and it is important to always want something as that helps us to look forward in life. But now and then, when the pressure is just too much to handle and you are feeling down, remembering that life is good and there are things to be grateful for is really important. Taking things for granted is normal but what we need to work on is remembering that we tend to do that and work towards valuing them more.

A mind blowing start or an amazing end? #YouPrefer

As a kid I heard two quotes and got all confused. The first one was ‘Well begun, is half done’ and the second one was ‘All’s well that ends well’.  I remember thinking that if something started well, it was a good thing and if it didn’t start well, we should think that it will all be well if we could just end it in a better way.  I also remember thinking that this was just a trick played on us by our elders to ensure that we are always hopeful. Cause, isn’t it obvious that if something is going to be good than either it started good or ended good? And if it is good all the while (which is against the laws of nature) well, it is obviously good then. It was that simple for me and I thought this people just wanted to let me know that they are smarter than me hence they were putting in front of me all these wise sounding quotes.

But then I grew up and understood what was the difference between two quotes and in what way they were supposed to be interpreted. Now, I deal with bigger problems, more confusing problems.

Given a choice to choose one of the two things: A mind blowing start to your journey (or whatever it is you are undertaking) or an amazing end to it, what would you choose? I am not saying that you can’t have both, it’s just that if you can be assured of one thing, what would you want that thing to be? Would you choose a mind-blowing start and build your own way to the end or would you like to have an amazing end and not worry about how you get there?

If you choose a mind-blowing start to your journey, it may take any course in the future. You cannot possibly know what is going to happen in the future or how your journey is going to end. It may have a good ending or not. That depends. But you will have a good start. You will have an edge. As they say ‘Well begun, is half done’.

If you choose an amazing ending to your journey, you may not know what will happen to you in the start. All you can be sure is that the end will be amazing but how you reach the end, the problems you face to reach there and the things you suffer from are not known. It may be a journey to an amazing end but it may not be worth it. You may not even make it to the end, possibly because you lacked the courage to make it through. But they say ‘All’s well that ends well’.

The question is what sort of a person you are: the one to take a good start and live the end upon fate or the one to know what the end is and have the patience and the endurance to make it there by doing whatever it takes?