Do You Miss Me?

Tell me, do you miss me?
I wanna know.
Do you think about me
As much as I think of you?

Do the starry nights
Remind you of our late night talks?
Do you ever miss my company
When you go for one of your walks?

When you have a bad day;
Or when you work till late;
When there is no one sitting by your side
While you wait for your train;

On days when your dad is being a jerk
And your sister is being pushy;
When your friends are being difficult
And the whole world seems stupid.

Do you miss me? Tell me!
I wanna know.

***

Do you ever miss,
The afternoons spent together;
Or the morning breakfasts?
When everything seemed better
Than it actually was.

Do you miss watching movies on Sunday
Or the evenings spent by the sea;
Do you miss taking my pictures on your camera
Or my half-ass-stupid poetry?

Do you miss the times when things were good
And we had love to share;
And those times when things turned bad
But we still didn’t care?

Tell me, do you miss me at all
Or was I easy to forget?
Tell me, am I a sweet memory?
Or am I a stupid regret?

Oh wait!
Don’t tell me!
Wait!
I think I don’t want to know.

‘Cause what if you say yes?
And what if,
God forbid,
You say no!

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बेगाने

न तुमने हमसे कुछ कहा
न हमने तुमसे कुछ कहा
सब कुछ अजनबियों से कहने लगे
अपनों और अजनबियों में अब फरक ही कहा रहा
|

अधूरी बातें अधूरी रह गयी
अनकही बातो को तो वक़्त ही न मिला ;
सब कुछ कह गया तुम्हारा ज़मीर
हमारी खामोशी को तो मौका ही न मिला
|

बेबस जज़्बात मेरे, मजबूरी में धस गए
दिल की कश्ती को कोई किनारा न मिला ;
बेचैन अफ़सोस मेरे लावारिस हो चले
तुम्हारे चैन
सुकून को लेकिन, उनका ठिकाना न मिला |

गीले शिकवे भी अब किस काम के
इनपे अब हमारा कोई हक़ ही न रहा ;
ये सब तो रिश्तो के नतीजे है
यहाँ तो अब कोई रिश्ता ही न रहा
|

***

अजीब हो चला है वक़्त
हम ज़ाया कर रहे है
,
फिर भी ये बीत नही रहा ;

ज़िन्दगी भी सस्ती हो चली है
हम खर्च कर रहे है
,
पर कोई खरीद नही रहा |

 

इश्क भी बदल रहा है करवट
पहले खुशिया ही खुशिया थी
अब दर्द के सिवा कुछ दिख नही रहा

तुम भी बेगाने से लगने लगे हो अब
पहले तुम्हारी आदतें सही लगती थी
अब तुम्हारी हरकतें
, दिल समझ नही पा रहा |

 

रिश्ते भी कितने अजीब होते है

किसी के साथ प्यार से ज़िन्दगी बिताने की कोशिश करो
तो सालों तक इंसान कोशिश ही करता रह जाता है ;
और उसी इंसान को ज़िन्दगी से निकालने की कोशिश करो
तो कभी कभी ज़िन्दगी भर उस एक इंसान को भुला नही पाता है
|

***

अब क्या नाम दे तुम्हे, समझ नही आ रहा

दोस्तकह नही पा रहे,
दुश्मनदिल को भा नही रहा ;
अनजानेतुम हो नही,
और अजनबीदिल बुला नही पा रहा |

शायद ‘बेगाना’ बुलाना सही रहेगा तुम्हे
क्यूंकि अपना अब तुम्हे कह नहीं सकते ;
बेगाना कहने में भी लेकिन एक अपनापन है
जो चाहे भी तो हम बदल नही सकते
|

I love you. You don’t.

Sometimes things look complicated
But they aren’t
You are just thinking too much.

There is no solving the problem
Cause there isn’t one
You are just making up stuff.

Sometimes you just have to let it go
Even if that seems like the toughest thing to do

Being negative won’t help anyone
And hating yourself isn’t any fun.

This is over
And that is the truth
Things never stay
The way they should

So let’s not complicate things
And be stuck in hope;

The truth of matter is simple
I love you
You don’t.

Love is simple.

Love isn’t complicated. Love is simple. I think (well, who am I to say anything about love but anyway) love is one of the most simplest thing in the world. Ok! May be not but it is a lot simpler than what everyone has portrayed it to be. Love is simple. It is we who complicate it. The idea of romantic love and the picture portrayed by it is what makes love complicated.

I once asked Shahrukh Khan to define love(in one of his ‘I’ll answer some of your questions now’ phases on twitter) and he replied with this: (Love is) fearlessly unconditional fondness beyond physicality.

love by srkThat is how the king of romance defines love. Simple, isn’t it?

I remember when love used to be simpler than it is today. As a child, love meant liking someone intensely. Yes, that is what love is to us when we are children(or may be it was just stupid me who thought of it in such simple ways) and well I can’t seem to be able to find anything wrong with that. That, in a nutshell, says everything about love. Earlier, people didn’t expect much from their lovers. It didn’t take much to fall in love then. If someone likes you, cares for your well being and wants the best things for you (happiness and all things good) that meant they loved you. Simple! May be that is why people didn’t make a big deal about love then and were happy with what they had and may be that is why lesser people broke up/got divorced.

But not today. Today, love is the most complicated things. Thanks to the movies, books, media and all the shitty television soaps out there people have a really weird opinion of love and a huge list of expectations from their ‘ideal lover’.  He should be handsome, intelligent, should have a sense of humor, a hot body, should be in a rock band(probably a guitarist), should be filthy rich, should be honest, decent, caring, respectful and loyal and also… should be something different, you know? Yeah right! What different do you want now? Wasn’t that exhaustive list enough? For guys it doesn’t get any simpler. She should be pretty, sweet, cute, hot, sexy, should have a sense of fashion, should be intelligent, smart, should be a social person but not very, should get along with his friends, should be able to cook and take care of the house, should have those maternal instincts and should be able to take care of him and his family and shouldn’t make him spend lot of money and also, you know, she should be someone you can take home to your mom. Just die already, why don’t you? So many expectations, so many images of the ideal one, so many things people look forward to in their ideal lover that it is logically and statistically impossible to find someone who will live up to their crazy and unrealistic standards.

A while ago, I came about this question on Quora ‘Can you love someone who doesn’t like Quora?’ and although a lot of people on Quora are sensible and replied with ‘it doesn’t matter’ I still couldn’t stop thinking about how people just keep adding things on their checklist of ideal lover without a second thought. I mean how does it really matter if some one likes Quora or not?
People have weird notions about love. They want their lovers to have the same interests as them. For example they can’t be in love with someone who doesn’t like music or reading books or watching movies and other similar things. And just having similar interests isn’t good enough. People want their lover to even like the same sub-sets or genres in those fields of interests. How can I be in love with someone who doesn’t like rock music or doesn’t watch Game of Thrones or doesn’t like to watch rom-com movies? Why is it so important that your lover has to like all the things that you enjoy? And how boring will it become after a while? The shittiest and stupidest things that one hears go something like ‘broke up because he never liked her facebook profile pic’ or ‘not together anymore because she partied a lot’.

love-is-simple-people-are-complicated-1

One other factor that has changed is that people earlier used to have lots of friends and so the expectations from a lover was less. Now, people expect everything that they should ideally expect from a friend, from their lover. If your lover doesn’t enjoy music festival, go with your friend. If your lover doesn’t enjoy watching Sex and the City or X-Men or whatever movie you want to watch, go watch it with your friend. Make more friends. You don’t have to do everything with your lover. Go out with friends. Your lover only needs to be a few things. They need to love you, be there for you during tough times, be there to celebrate your happy moments with you and stand by you no matter what. They don’t have to be a guitar player or a great cook to be your lover cause these things don’t affect your relationship in anyway except that you get to boast about it to your fake facebook friends.

Love is simple. Love has to be simple. As panda(one of my giant friend who loves food as much as Po, may be more) says ‘ Love is simple. If she can order a subway sandwich perfectly – with the right sauces and all- I’ll marry her.’ Ok! May be that is a little too much to expect from someone but you get the jest. Expect simple things from your lover – commitment, loyalty, freedom, personal space, support, care and love; don’t go into details. Love is the basic ingredient you need to make a good life. Everything else can be derived, learned and inculcated later on.

The love of a mother

Every love has a reason behind it. We love people for various reasons. We love them because they are good to us, because they are a good human being, because they are good to the less privileged people, because they have money or status, because they are doing some good in the world, because they are successful, because they treat you well or make you happy or make you feel big and important… the list is endless. We love people for various reasons. There is no such thing as ‘love without any reason’. Every love has a reason. No love that is real is without a reason. It is impossible to love someone without any reason; it is, if I may be impolite to all the romantic fools out there, simply illogical and stupid. If someone says they love you without any reason either they are lying to you or they are lying to themselves and they themselves don’t know the reason. You cannot love someone without a reason. You might not know the reason. You night not know why you love someone as much as you love them but there always is a reason.

Now that we have established that every love is born out of a reason, let us look at the scary side of this. If people love us for certain reasons (because we are good, because we are confident, good looking, smart, intelligent, rich, famous or any other thing), what if those reasons disappear? Will people stop loving us? We all agree that change is inevitable. People change and that is unavoidable. It is natural. If people love you for some things or qualities that you have right now and what will happen if a few years down the road you don’t posses those qualities? Will they love you then? Will they accept you for what you have become? Doesn’t it scare you that most of the people might not? People love you for a reason. What if you can’t give them those reasons anymore? What if you have changed as a person and you don’t possess those qualities in you? Will everyone stop loving you? If yes, how does one survive in this world then? Where does one find the true and pure and forever kind of love? Does that sort of love even exist?

The answer is yes. That kind of love exists; the true and forever and pure kind of love and it is the love of a mother for her child. The love of a mother for her child is the most honest and true and pure love that there is. Your mother is the only person who will always love you no matter what you do and what you become. Even if you hate her and be rude to her and give her every reason to not love you, she will always love you because the reason why she loves you will never change. The reason for a mother’s love towards her child never goes away. It is always there and will always be there and hence her love will not change even if everything about the child changes.  The reason a mother loves her child is that the child is a part of her. The mother gives birth to a child; she holds him in her stomach for 9 months; holds it, grows it, feeds it, cares for it, nourishes it and then gives birth to it. She suffers intolerable pain and uncontrollable torture for her child. The child is a part of her. The child is a reflection of her; not just that, the child is a part of her soul. The child is what will stay of her after she dies. The child is she herself reborn in a new body. That is why a mother will always love her child. No matter what happens that reason will never change. Even if the child grows up to become a terrorist or whatever, the mother will always see the best of him. The child will always be special to the mother; will always remain a part of her no matter what he does. That reason will never change and hence the love of a mother for a child will never change. Hence, it is the purest form of love.

There is this story that I heard when I was a child and which, even though it is very stupid and kiddish and rubbish and fictional, still aptly portrays the love of a mother for her child.

A guy asks his girlfriend to marry her. The girl says she will marry him but only if he agrees to bring her the heart of his mother. The girl explains to him that she feels threatened by his mother and she won’t marry him if he doesn’t get her the heart of his mother. Crazy in love, the guy sets off on his path to do whatever it takes to be with the love of his life. He reaches home and kills his mother and tears her heart out so that he could give it to his girlfriend and thus marry her. After cutting off his mother’s heart, as he starts walking away he stumbles over a rock and falls down and hurts himself. At that moment, there comes a voice from the heart ‘are you hurt my son?’  It is his mother’s voice coming from the heart; his mother whom he killed but who still cares about him.

All I imply from this story is that only a mother can have that kind of love for her child; only a mother can forgive, suffer and lose everything she has to make her child happy. No other love is that undying and that pure and that ever lasting.

‘I am writing a Tribute to Mom in association with Parentous.com

This is enough… enough for now!

Walking down the road, I see you across the street
Looking all pretty and happy and smiling with glee

You look at me and we share this glance
Then you raise your eyebrows, smile at me and move on

And I just stand there like a fool, thinking
About that smile and you and us and about this feeling

And all I want to do is come up to you and say
How I feel about you and ask, if you feel the same.

But I don’t.
Cause this smile is enough… enough for now!

She is just sitting on her computer, studying for her exam
Getting all worried and upset but still trying to stay calm

Her mobile beeps and it is a text from him
He asks about her day and how she has been

And she is smiling and smiling and she doesn’t know why
Because she hates him for not doing this often and for being so shy

Because she would love nothing more than for him to call
Ask about her day; listen to her problems and well, that’s all.

But he never does and she still smiles
Cause this message is enough… enough for now!

He is dancing with her, having one of the best nights of his life
Celebrating a friend’s birthday, partying and drinking wine

She is drunk and happy and suddenly she starts feeling a little blue
So she leans on his shoulder and hugs him and he has got no clue

He is sitting there, his heart beating faster and it is back
The love he had for her; the love that he still has

And he knows she doesn’t love him and that they promised to stay friends
But he can’t stop thinking about her; can’t get her out of his head.

So he makes do with this hug
Cause this hug is enough… enough for now!

She is sitting in her cubicle, tired and frustrated
Hating everything about today; annoyed and irritated

He walks in with two cups of tea and his stupid grin
Cracks some jokes and tells stupid stories, which makes her forget everything

Then he gets up, kisses her on her forehead and leaves
Taking with him all her problems and all her worries

And she hates him for always being a friend and not making a move
When she is so apparently smitten by him and so obviously in love

But for now she settles for the kiss on her forehead
Cause this kiss is enough… enough for now!

They just came back from dinner and are standing in front of her door
Exchanging their final goodbyes for the night but secretly wishing for more

The dinner was amazing and the night was wonderfully spent
With the right amount of laughter and right amount of sentiment

And they are just standing there unsure about what to do next
Risk the kiss on lips or just hug and let go of the rest

Then he moves forward, hugs her and kisses her gently on her cheek
Wishes her a good night, asks her to sleep well and leaves.

And even though they both wanted more than this, they smile
Cause this peck is enough… enough for now!

They are sitting next to each other, under the starry sky
Staring at the endless sea and watching the waves rise high

They are talking about love and life; of how fast the time flies
Reliving memories and sharing old stories; of a love that never dies

And he loves her like he has never loved anyone before
And he knows she loves him too; loves him to the core

But they don’t say it because saying it will only make it worse
As they can’t give each other forever and that is their curse.

So they just sit there and relish their love
Cause this love is enough… enough for now!